i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think people are normalizing furries
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
