it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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