Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize