What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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