It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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