fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize