If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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