Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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