laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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