This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
