I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
