also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
