I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
