There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
