No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
