this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
