It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
