She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
