Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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