careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
