shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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