we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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