glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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