i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
