she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
