this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
