i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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