People in love make me want to vomit
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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