none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
