she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
