I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They left me at home... I'm a liability
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
