All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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