can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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