She announced her abortion via fbk
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
