remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
