What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize