lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
