some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
