so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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