Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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