I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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