At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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