Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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