I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
