the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
