DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
