Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize