You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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