Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize