soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
