I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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