i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
