i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
