ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
