Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize