I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
