ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
