Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
