the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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