the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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